Phantom Pain

I am reading a book called A Grace Disguised by Gerald Sittser. There is a chapter in the book called The Amputation of the Familiar Self and the author talks about how the pain of a loss can be like the phantom pain that amputees often experience. I never really thought of it that way but as bizarre as it sounds, it's true. I can't explain it, but it's like the physical pain of a broken heart. It's not the heart, the organ, that is broken and hurting, but the spirit I guess, which is heavy with indescribable anguish that creates inexplainable physical pain. I ache from a place that I can't touch, sometimes to the point where I feel like I am going to die, too, for something, someone, a part of me that is no longer here. I know Mason isn't gone forever but he's gone from here, where we still are and it's just not okay.