11/11

Today is Veteran's Day. Mason talked about joining the Army, to heat up the Navy blood around him, but also to, in his words, do extreme stuff like jump out of (perfectly good) airplanes and help people. Joining the Army was the only 'in the future' thing that he really talked about. I don't know if his spirit knew that he wouldn't get to grow up and do the normal things or what. He did and does get to be a soldier for God though. I couldn't imagine having to say goodbye to Mason, sending him off to war, but I was pretty sure that someday I would. Maybe my spirit knew I'd have to somehow let him go. By accident, I also realized that today is exactly nine months since he went to Heaven. That feels wierd to me. It's not because I was pregnant for nine months because I wasn't. So I'm not sure why it's any different than seven or eight months, but it is... maybe because it makes twelve months seem so close and I can't wrap my mind around the fact that it's been that long already. The next three months hold some of the darkest, but also some of the brightest memories and there are a bunch of firsts to get through. I know we will get through though. Strength and peace from God are truly unexplainable things.