As I sat alone in my chair watching Jen's swim lesson today, seeing mothers all around me lay out picnic blankets for lunch and call their kids out of the pool to eat, I noticed a blonde boy with glasses sitting next to me. He had come out of the pool to eat his popcorn chicken. He was about Mason's age and he had Mason's attitude, but he wasn't Mas. It made me sad. I miss every single thing about Mason and all that he brought to my life. I miss what I could so freely give to his. Medically speaking, his death was senseless but I have to see past that, to the grace and mercy and accept that I won't fully understand until I get to Heaven myself. People think we have some closure now but there is no such thing. There is no moving on. There is only learning to live in this space of time, knowing and trusting that it won't be forever. The Force is with me and this is not the end. I can't wait for the real beginning.Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.
Proverbs 3:5
Closure? Only people who haven't lost someone special can talk about closure. Maybe they mean that life goes on, one day at a time, and see that you are trying your best, but no, it's not closure -- it's hope that makes you go on. Hope that one day you will meet again. And you will -- promise! Much love!
ReplyDeleteAaron Shust has a new song out and I thought of you--
ReplyDelete"Rest in the arms of the One Who knows you
Rest in the arms of the One Who holds you
Rest in the arms of the One Who won't let go..."
It is my prayer for you today. Blessings on you today.