Little Things

Last week just plain sucked. I've had worse days, but as a whole I think it was the worst week so far. It still went fast though, thank God. I spent Memorial Day painting the memorial bench for Mason's school, missing my little hero and two evenings watching rec baseball, one wishing I could be cheering for my Mason instead of only hearing cheers for other kids and the other one seeing Mason's name on the back of the team jerseys and wishing there was no need for that (even though it's really awesome and much appreciated). I spent several nights last week falling asleep longing to talk to Mason, wanting to hear him say one more time, "Don't worry Momma, God will take care of it all, no matter how short or how long it takes", telling God that I could really use a sign, some sense of direct communication. It had seemed quiet for a few weeks and I was feeling attacked on more fronts than I felt like I had strength to fight.

Already this week, in several different, unrelated conversations with different people, Heaven has come up. I have received unsolicited promises to, God willing, send a sign that everything is okay if they got There before me. Then, as He always does, in one way or another, God not only heard, but responded to my request. Last night, one of Mason's past teachers (and one of the few reasons that he didn't totally hate going to school) facebooked me to tell me she had very unexpectedly come across the cue cards that Mason had from when he told jokes at the school talent show when he was in kindergarten, two years ago. Mason rocked that night. He had so much fun and he was so funny. He made me laugh so hard that I dropped my camera. Then this afternoon, Jennifer was digging for colored pencils to finish a school project and she found a birthday card that Mason had started for me back in the fall but apparently had forgotten about... or maybe not.

I am so thankful for the little things, thankful for the signs.

I will keep running, Mas. Keep watching, I will catch up. I'll keep my eyes on what is to come and not dwell in what has passed. You are not only part of my past but part of my glorious future and there, we'll be together forever. I can not wait, but I'm not done here, so I have to. I'll keep rounding the bases until I make it Home, for it is only there that I will be truly safe and able to rest.

Hebrews 12
Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.