Plan B

Mason's memorial service was one year ago Sunday. His beloved kindergarten teacher spoke the following words at his service.

When I went outside this morning clouds were rolling across the sky and the wind was moaning. As I looked up and saw the trees bending and swaying violently back and forth I figured they too, must be waving their disapproving arms as if to say it isn't fair that you are no longer here on this Earth. They looked how I felt inside.

Now that I have had a chance to speak to your family, I now know that the tremendous winds of today were made for you... to spread your angel wings and soar.

My plan, even though you scrunched up your nose, was to have you become part of my family. I loved having you as a part of my school family, and didn't want to stop there! I was certain you would be friends with Caleb... and of course fall deeply in love with Maggie. Yes, I know it was rather early for me to plan, but I knew I had found a "keeper" for my daughter. I was sure you were going to take care of her, respect her, love her and be her best friend. It seems silly to speak of and I kid about it lightheartedly, but, the fact remains that you were one of the most compassionate young men I have ever met.

...which is why I figure God had an alternate plan for you. Plan B. He knew you better than all of us. Yes, he saw the compassion, intelligence, drive and sense of humor that we all saw. But he knew more... making you the perfect man for His mission, a mission we are not yet sure of at this point... but someday will understand better when we all meet again.

So, until then, I will remember you when I saw a hawk, read your letters, or look at the crafts you made for me. I will remember you when I eat mushrooms on my pizza, tomatoes on my sandwiches, and tell my children I love them to the moon and back.

You have touched my life so deeply, as you have with all the people you knew. Your family is so proud of your accomplishments here and for the mission for which you have been chosen by Him... because they know that whatever the job is, you will do great!

My last words to you that day in the office were "Hang in there"... little did I know I would have to heed my own advice. I will remember you always. I love you.

We've gotten through all of the "firsts" now. It is hard for me to believe that it's been over a year since I felt Mason love but I'll keep hanging in there until I can feel it again. I'll always love you to the moon and back, and back again, my sweet boy and I'll never forget that you love me to "heaven and back." How ironic that is now. I wish it wasn't so far away.