In two days, it will be a year since Mason's surgery. Surgery that was supposed to be no big deal, routine, quick, outpatient. Surgery that was a big deal, complicated, long, required five miserable days in the hospital and something he never really recovered from. The day that Mason died is the worst day of my life but I feel like it all started on December 18th, when I left him in the operating room. There wasn't much choice then but now I wish that I could go back and do that day over. That was when life changed and it will never be the same again. Some days there isn't much strength left and I feel like I'm losing my hold on hope. This is one of those days. I miss my sweet boy. I miss my little friend.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
A Day I Am Dreading
In two days, it will be a year since Mason's surgery. Surgery that was supposed to be no big deal, routine, quick, outpatient. Surgery that was a big deal, complicated, long, required five miserable days in the hospital and something he never really recovered from. The day that Mason died is the worst day of my life but I feel like it all started on December 18th, when I left him in the operating room. There wasn't much choice then but now I wish that I could go back and do that day over. That was when life changed and it will never be the same again. Some days there isn't much strength left and I feel like I'm losing my hold on hope. This is one of those days. I miss my sweet boy. I miss my little friend.
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MB-
ReplyDeleteMy heart is breaking into a thousand pieces and tears are streaming down my face. We love you so much, and I think of precious Mason often, the time you came to our apartment and I held him as a baby. MB, know you are in my DAILY prayers,you, Jason and Jenny. It is one of those things that I don't understand, all I know is when our strength is weak, He is strong, lean on Him even when you want to run and He will pick you up in His arms and comfort you. I love you, I prayed for you on Christmas, I am praying for peace. Hold on to Jesus, He will hold onto.