Strength

We went to the State Fair this weekend. Mason could always hardly wait to go for the milking of the cow and the riding of carnival rides. Each year he looked forward to being a little taller so he could get on the more extreme rides. Last year he was finally tall enough to ride them all and he couldn't have been happier. This year, we knew we had to go but, like everything else now, it just wasn't the same. Jenny did very well with her 4-H entries but she didn't have her little brother to share her success with and she didn't have him for a riding partner. She wanted to ride all the rides that he liked just the same though and she wanted to play all of his favorite games, too. I was managing until she wanted to play the water gun game, the one that I really liked and always played with Mason to help him win. He would hold the gun and I would hold my hands over his, helping him to aim and put constant pressure on the trigger. On our way in to the fairgrounds, so as to not have to look at Mason's favorite rock climbing wall, I walked faster and turned my head. On the way out Jenny mentioned about wanting to try it. She and Mason always had a bit of a rivalry about it. He challenged her to keep trying so that she could catch him at the top. We were already past it and more than ready for dinner but I still saw it and it was another ginormous reminder, like I need one, that the little person that lit up my life big is not here anymore. I felt bad for not going back so she could climb but I was so thankful that we were past it because I just didn't think I could have stood there to watch. Last year, after climbing to the top more than once, and stopping only when his muscles were trembling, Mason told me he wanted to be an Army Ranger and jump out of airplanes. He had strength of body, mind and spirit far beyond his size and years. He still challenges me to keep trying. I can't wait to catch him at the top.