Perspective

When I was in labor with our daughters, the first who was born still 13 years ago this Saturday, although I obviously got through and did so without any pain medication either time, I remember thinking, "If this gets any worse, I am going to be in trouble." Both birth experiences were quick and relatively easy but they really weren't enjoyable. When I was in labor with Mas, my perspective had shifted and after each contraction I remember thinking, "Thank you God that this isn't so bad, thank you for being here with me every step of the way." The experience was nothing short of absolutely amazing.

When Mason died, and even still, so many refer to it as a loss. I think we have been conditioned to not say words like died or death and people just don't like the words because they make you feel bad. Losing and loss personally don't make me feel any better though. Mason died. He's not lost. He's not missing. I know where he is. Sometimes it's very hard to think of anything other than what I lost or don't have now, but I feel like staying in those thoughts too long dishonors how richly God blessed me by choosing me to be Mason's Mom, his incredible life, all that he gave and all that I do have because he was here, even if it was for a much shorter time than I had planned. Mason's physical absence from my life has left a crater. Walking through that crater hurts and sometimes it seems too deep and vast to navigate. When I shift my perspective and think, Thank you God for not leaving me here alone, thank you for showing me the way and for picking me up when I fall, thank you for giving me promise and hope", I have the strength to keep going, for I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Perspective, it's all about where you are looking and what you are seeing.